Rupture & Repair

Every relationship has ruptures. Very few people know how to repair them.
Rupture & Repair is a practical, story-rich guide for anyone who wants to stay connected in moments that usually create distance.

Through raw personal stories, trauma-informed frameworks, and a grounded 7-step repair process, this book teaches you how to understand your triggers, regulate your nervous system, and reconnect with the people you love—even when everything in you wants to shut down, run, or lash out.

You’ll learn why your body reacts the way it does, why conflict feels like danger, and why old wounds repeat themselves in new relationships. Most importantly, you’ll learn how to meet those moments with clarity, courage, and compassion.

This book won’t give you shortcuts.
It gives you something better:
the ability to repair, the capacity to stay present, and the awareness to transform conflict into connection.

If you’re ready to become the kind of person your partner feels safe with—even in rupture—this is where the work begins.

Inside, you’ll learn to:

• Understand where your triggers actually come from—and why they surface in intimate partnership.

• Pause before reacting, even when your body feels flooded or abandoned.

• Decode the stories your mind creates in moments of rupture.

• Feel your emotions without being consumed by them.

• Build internal capacity, so you remain anchored even in discomfort.

• Repair ruptures with vulnerability, accountability, and compassion.

• See conflict not as a threat, but as a mirror revealing what wants to be healed.

This book is written through stories—raw, personal, honest. It guides you through the exact process Hugh and Amy use in their practice, retreats, and men’s/women’s work: a 7-step repair process supported by SEPIC, trauma psychology, and higher-consciousness frameworks.

WHO THIS BOOK IS FOR

This book is for people who:

• Want a healthier relationship but are stuck in the same ruptures.

• Feel overwhelmed, shut down, or reactive when triggered.

• Love their partner deeply but can’t seem to stay connected during conflict.

• Carry unresolved childhood wounds that surface in adult relationships.

• Want to develop emotional maturity, nervous-system capacity, and self-awareness.

• Are ready to take accountability for their own patterns—without taking blame that isn’t theirs.

• Want a structured, embodied path toward true connection.

It’s also for men and women who grew up learning to “push through,” stay in their heads, or avoid feeling—and now want to experience relationships with more safety, depth, and presence.

If you want to become someone who can stay connected even during a fight, who can pause instead of explode, who can communicate with clarity rather than defensiveness, and who can repair ruptures with emotional intelligence - this book is your guide.

THE PROBLEM THIS BOOK SOLVES

Ruptures aren’t the problem.
It’s what happens inside you during the rupture that creates chaos.

Most people:

• React before they understand what they’re actually feeling.

• Interpret their partner through old wounds rather than the present moment.

• Lose emotional capacity under stress.

• Disconnect from themselves, and therefore disconnect from each other.

• Try to repair without first regulating and understanding their internal world.

This book solves that disconnect by teaching you how to:

• Slow down the automatic reactions of your nervous system.

• Identify the sensations, emotions, perceptions, interpretations, and beliefs happening inside you.

• Stay connected to yourself so you can reconnect with your partner.

• Use conflict as an opportunity for deeper truth, not distance.

• Develop the ability to repair ruptures in a way that builds trust, not erodes it.

ADD-ON: Trauma Language Essentials Pack (8 PDFs)

Deepen the work. Make it usable in real life.

This 8-PDF pack is designed to support the emotional and relational work inside each book. While the book gives you understanding, this pack gives you the tools to practice it in daily moments of stress, conflict, or overwhelm.

Included in the Trauma Language Essentials Pack:

1. Somatic Practices for Regulating Your Nervous System

Practical tools for calming fight/flight and freeze states so your body can come back into safety. These practices help you stay present instead of overwhelmed.

2. Trauma Languages & How to Bring Your Body Back to Safety

Clear regulation steps for each trauma language — Protector, Pleaser, Fixer, Withdrawer, and Fighter — so you know exactly what to do when your pattern activates.

3. Trauma Talks: Safer Words for the 5 Ways We Cope

Compassionate, non-triggering language that helps you communicate during stress without escalating conflict or shutting down connection.

4. From Protection to Connection: Trauma Repair Scripts That Rebuild Trust

Real-world repair phrases rooted in authenticity, vulnerability, and accountability. These scripts help you repair ruptures without blame, collapse, or defensiveness.

5. Repair Phrases for Clarity, Connection & Calm — Needs Inventory

A list of emotional needs + phrase templates that help you communicate clearly when you feel overwhelmed or misunderstood.

6. Beneath the Trigger: A Map to Emotional Clarity & Core Needs

A step-by-step map that walks you from raw sensation → emotion → story → wound → need. This is SEPIC in a simple, usable form.

7. The 5 Trauma Language Archetypes

Breakdowns of the core wounds, defensive patterns, beliefs, and somatic cues for each trauma language so you can identify your adaptive style and shift it.

8. Your Personal Awareness Map

A one-page worksheet to map your wound, triggers, nervous system state, and growth path — turning insight into actual change.

WHAT THIS ADD-ON HELPS YOU DO

• Build emotional capacity so stress doesn’t take over

• Stay connected during rupture instead of shutting down or reacting

• Communicate your needs more clearly

• Repair with honesty and accountability

• Understand what’s beneath your triggers

• Regulate your body in real time

• Move from protection → awareness → connection

Books give you insight.

This pack gives you integration.

Together, they help you become more grounded, aware, and capable of real connection.

The book gives you understanding.
The bundle gives you transformation.

Together, they help you become a grounded, connected, self-aware human—capable of real intimacy and repair.